I gave birth 6 months ago. I remember how scared I was when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t scared of the responsibility of being a mother. I was 28. I had graduated college. I was working freelance which was paying well. The responsibility wasn’t the scary part. My life changing was what terrified me.
I spent my 20’s free! I traveled when I wanted (or had the money to). I spent money on tech gadgets. But more importantly spent money on me;my brand. When you have a kid that all changes. Kids are expensive.
There are are diapers, clothes, formula, and baby food. Unless were able to keep some of your expendable income there isn’t much money around for clothes, hobbies, video games, and etc. The only thing the keeping me from running for the hills is the idea of the mom I could be. I call her , “Cool Mom.”
This lack of funds kill my idea of the type of mother I thought I would be. I wanted to be one of those mothers who wore cool clothes. I want dress my baby like 25 year old trust fund kid. I want to drink lattes in the village with my expensive stroller. I have none of that. Most of the time I am covered in baby puke. I am tired all the time. It has gotten better. My son is on solids… so less puke. I have some really cute clothes for my son. I have 3 strollers at this point. Ballin’ right.
But what I found out is that I didn’t need any of that to be, “cool mom.” What makes me a cool mom is a spending time with my kid. Taking him to baby to music classes or to the park. Making sure my kid comes out well adjusted is being a cool mom. Being a good mom is what is cool.
Also, not be to full of myself, but I was cool before being a mom. I was always kind of sure I would be an amazing mother. I liked helping my own mother out with my youngest sister. I took her to concerts, helped her throw birthday parties. So maybe adjust my cool from being a cool single adult with no children in sketchy relationships with guys who can’t spell to being mom in a relationship. I have also taken strides to make myself cooler. I hang out with my partners friends on the weekends. Mostly in silence why they talk about stuff from past lives. As a homebody I now go out more. I realized I was trying to be someone who isn’t me when I am just fine. Plus my kid is super cute.
*Cue Lupe Fiasco’s The Coolest as she twirls away like Wonder Woman*