It has been a whole year since my break up. It has been over 365 whole days. I took a break to myself. Took some times for a couple of vices (politics, chocolate cake, and work). But I am a human and a woman after all. Some earlier this year I made plans to start searching for a new partner. I wasn’t sure at the beginning what I wanted. I knew I wanted a good time. Not like a sexy good time but the kind of time where you go out, you have fun, and you say to yourself, “I’d like to do this again.”Though I have become more open to the idea of dating it has been a struggle. It’s easy to say I would like to start dating again than actually dating.
I found out there are a lot of scumbags still out there. There are guys scumbags but feel the need to put on the appearance of one. Congratulations, you are still a scumbag. Then there are the guys that believe the some how are getting passed over for scumbags. They are your emo boyfriend from high school revisited. Unaware they are the just as much of a scumbag than the guy supposedly their exes left them for, they sit around moping about the last girlfriend. Sometimes the girlfriend before that. And the one before that girlfriend. Oh, this is before you make arrangements for an actual date.
But now I am a mom. My kid comes first. So now it’s about a person I am cool with bringing around my kid. Hell even letting them know I have a kid. You are always constantly worried about if this person will harm your child. You also have to take into account that this person might also have the opportunity to influence your child for the better or the worst.
So now I am picky. I am pickier than I was 2 or 3 years prior. I do go on dates. I have fun on these dates sometimes. But now my bar is raised. I won’t settle. I have high standards. Probably the standards I should have had from the beginning.